wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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