I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
