You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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