plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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