I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
