I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
