I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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