yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
