I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
