return my video game
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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