omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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