I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
