Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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