i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
We were destined to go to rehab together
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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