Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
A bitchslap is in order.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
