nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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