My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Randomize
