my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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