I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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