A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
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