she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
