Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
