so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
