All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
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