You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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