I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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