I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I supernannyed him into submission
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Randomize
