to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
