I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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