Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
