Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize