So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
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