i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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