I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
