remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Randomize
