I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize