nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
