By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
