It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
you made out with another girl for some wings
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Randomize
