I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Can I color on your dick again?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
