NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
