The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
