you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Operation Purity has been aborted
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
