just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Randomize
