Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
