Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize