I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
