So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I'm both gender and math confused
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
