It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
