I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
