That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
