It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
