it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
