Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
