jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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