Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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