my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
