He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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