I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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