how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize